Made to make fun of Twilight

Why?
Chapter 1

He came in the driveway; I could see him walking up. I leaned up from the living room couch, the place where I sleep most often. I gently opened the front door. He ran over to kiss me. I loved him. His leather coat made me chilled. I opened it up and hugged him inside it. His motorcycle was parked down the driveway about 500 yards away. I wanted to fuck him. Fuck him so hard he would remember it forever. My pussy got really warm as he implanted hot wet dick inside of me. It was so great. My fat pussy was sweating, gushing out fluid. He then took his dick out, then a baby came out crying, then I woke up from the nightmare. I woke up to the sound of my 12 year old brother masturbating. I walked in on him and he just kept on going because it's normal for us to get caught. He just said "Sup". Anyway I took out a knife and chopped his dick off- just kidding. I left the room passing my mom and dad doing what you would think but I heard mom say "I want a divorce!" I didn't give a shit all I wanted to do was see my boyfriend, and it turned out he was already here, I bumped into him while he was walking up the stairs and he fell and screamed, while he was cracking snapping and bleeding. The force of him falling down the stairs ripped him to shreds. He got up and asked if we wanted to go to MickeyDee's.
When we went we saw all sorts of people there, like Jay leno, and little fat kids who were irritating of course I had to piss one off. I walked over to this fat ass mother fucker who couldn't even stand up. I kicked him straight up into the air and and my foot broke up and flew with him but I just watched how far I kicked the little fat ass piece of shit. A WHOLE 2 FUCKING INCHES. That's my new record. After I screwed my foot back on, fucked all the employees and murdered annoying douche bag fat ugly kid, me and my boyfriend fucked right in front of Ronald McDonald, he wasn't looking thogh, he was busy gathering up kids and raping them with his magical powers and abilitys to make stars and shit. I was qweefing and farting and pissing, and my boyfriend was doing the same thing. It was dirty ass sex then he pissed on my face so I made teeth come out my vajayjay and bit his dick off. I started to do oral. I was sucked on it so hard that it went right through my head, I kept on going thogh.

Many days after the incident.... The leather couch was warm.. I was sitting in front of the fire, and my boyfriend made it for me, he actually was the fire, and he made this pleasant song for me, it goes like this,
"YOU STUPID BITCH HELP!!! IM GOING TO DIE!!!! HELP MEEEEEEE...." And that's how it ended. Well, anyway, the ash of a sexy mother fucker boy was on the ground. So I picked him up and shoved him up my ass where he turned back into a real man. My ass, of course, got fucked up in the process, so I used tooth picks to put it back together. Damn it hurts.
My little bro came down the stairs when he heard the insane fucked up ripping sound my shithole made. Then he was like, COOL!!! Then he ripped my boyfriends pants off and did what he normally did, commented on his pubes. My boyfriends pubes are very special, he can make faces in them.
"Why hello Hugh Hefner... O my god, there's Gwyneth Paltro... Well, your dick is looking mighty tasty today, may I taste it?" Then my boyfriend said yes and made my brothers head blow up.
"There's another brother you killed with your penis. Well done!" Then my boyfriend got on the ground, and started beating his meat, I started doing the same thing, beating our penises. After that he started lick my juicy pussy, and he actually drowned in my jelly. I started going down on him, so hard, my eyes popped out of head, but I didn't care, I just kept going, my little hole started burning, and lit on fire, but I kept my ways, I wouldn't stop, not until I satisfied my sluttish desires. After going to the emergency room for severe burns among other injuries, I went to my boyfriend's funeral, and went down on him again, and once again I went to the Hospital. Then I went to My boyfriends house. He shot me a few times with a handgun, and I had to get in to cover before he shot me again, so I dived towards a couch and flipped it over. I took out my TMP and shot the fuck out of him, he wouldn't go down, so I took out my RPG-7, and blasted him in his sexy face, Oh, he is so fucking sexy, oh yeah, I'm gonna do that, I went up to him, he was fuckin' messed up. I still wanted to do that, Fuck yeah. I went over to him, and told him to put it inside of me, so he slipped the barrel of his gun inside of my sweet cake, and fired several times. They just came of my mouth, because my body has adapted to being fucked all the time. Then I used a grenade and stuck it in his mouth, when it exploded and I was smacked against the wall and broke my spine, he went above me and I saw that the RPG damage went away with the grenade blast.